Tuesday, October 29, 2013

I'm jealous.
Green in every sense of the word,
And my stomach turns just thinking about how close he is to you...
How he lays against you ever so gingerly,
And I'm afraid he will never know what warmth feels like.
Unless, of course, it's in the form of liquid coursing through his body,
And every bottle is a step closer to you and further from his dream,
If he could only get around his self-esteem to reach it.
But doubt breaches the outtermost layers of the labyrinth
And snakes its way in to penatrate the places only accessable through clad-iron locks,
And now he is stuck in the box that he's trying to think outside of...
And that's where you come in.
I don't know whether to applaud or look at you in disdain,
But either way,
The stain that will soon rest on your chest will be of your hands.
Your tantalizing lies of a better life can only satiate fo so long.
The caged bird can only sing so many songs before its vocal chords rupture,
And this structure that you have built composed of self-loathing and pity will soon fall.
The writing on the wall will still be red,
But only read by him.
Your constraints cannot hold him forever.
Your lies cannot mold him forever.
And when the day comes that he sees past your facade
And he begins to fight like the warriors of the Mossad,
The thought of you will dissapear.
And when the day comes that his breath has fled,
I will write another letter to his death bed

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Miss Marley

Normally she rolls blunts
But they take too long
So this time it's papers
Blow from a dealer she don't care to know
But she just need quick fix
She takes her time rolling
She wants to savor this piff
& its the perfect J
She searches bedside for a lighter
With no hope in sight
Trying not to blow the ambiance 
As she turns on the light
Now she's like, 
'Fuck it, I'll just use the burner'
Caressing the knobs on the stove
As if it could give her numbers
& its lit
She runs to the room just take her a hit
& at the first puff her legs shake
Trying not to pufff to hard cause the gas taste
& on the next puff the world quakes
Within the next few she becomes the person that the world hates
But she blowing on this shit just to ease her pain
& if you were as lonely as she is
you would feel the same
She don't even count the joint
She just charge it to the game
By the last puff 
She forget that things are tough
She leaves the room satisfied
She's had enough
But she'll wake the next morning
Feeling the same way
Same drug
Different dealer
Trying to relieve the same pain....
Miss Marley

TV Screens...

It may just be my perception
But what I see is
Me recording one show
& them viewing another
Yet we're watching the same channel
& grasping the same cover
Yo you the cable provider
& your service goes out with the weather
I'm going Dish Network
It's summer time
so their service is getting better
I should switched in February
After that first after due bill
But I wanted to see if it was real
Now switching is as good as that B pill
So I'm sending you your receivers
This is long overdue
You can send em to your other customers
I'm canceling my subscription
There ain't no more me & you...

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

....ehh

I would tell you that you weren't worth it....
But the alcohol wants me to lye...
So I tell you I aint shit....
& that it's OK for you to cry....
Granted that I'm still a shot under par...
I proceed to tales of how beautiful you are....
I'm setting my thoughts in motion....
As if they would move you to my car....
I gotta a charger with no cell...
My fam out on bail.....
& she missing punctuations...
like we missing court dates....
so I end my sentences with dollar signs to make sure my seed straight...
Dotting these eyes with X's & Oh's....
My mixed shawty take it by the whole...
& she ain't my side chick but she the half of my hole...
cause my other girl got a hold...
summer time heat...
but they love so cold....
So remain torn...
I'm just waiting for this seamstress to mend it all....
Then I'll place a call....
To the woman that always made cents....

Friday, June 21, 2013

.....

I lost my friends with my sanity....
Around the same time I relinquished vanity....
When the relations became more physical....
When writing became only a vehicle....
When these rhymes became forced...
When my voice got hoarse....
I'm losing things because it's hurting them less...
To stay....
So after a while...
I just exile...
Myself....
Not having to cut loses...
Because there will never be anything to be gained....
There was less of something then....
& more of nothing now....
Because....
Now I have nothing too lose....

Sunday, June 16, 2013


              

It was the most beautiful labyrinth you’ve ever seen.

With twists and turns and mysteries,

It was an enigma in itself.

Didn’t quite know its own wealth or worth…

But it still seemed to keep its composure.

-

At the entrance were firey gates stolen stole strait from the hinges of hell,

And you could see it in its eyes when his pupils swelled,

He was one of a kind-

That couldn’t fathom his self a full house

Because that would mean that that thick, smut covered chain would have to break,

And that rusted lock would have to find a way to contort itself free.

But worst of all,

It would have to find the Key.

Better yet, someone to wield it

So in the meantime,

All he had was his maze like mind.

-

I found myself stumbling upon the land the led to this grand attraction.

A rock road that was apparently way better without the piece of cake.

Oh, this pain? The cherry on top,

But I remained grounded until my eyes feasted upon, arguably, the most

Aesthetically pleasing,

Soul teasing,

Heart pleading

Sight of life.

This was more than a maze,

This was a game.

The only one where it’s not about reaching the end first,

But it’s all about how you play.

-


But for now,

I’ll stay outside and stare at the most beautiful labyrinth you’ve ever seen.

With twists and turns and mysteries,

It was an enigma in itself.

Didn’t quite know its own wealth or worth…

But it still seemed to keep its composure.

And that’s what made him different.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Cuenta AtrĂ¡s

I'm starting at 11:50 and giving myself five
which is more praise than I've ever had...
& I'm losing more days than I ever have.....
Because these metafours leave me
.....twisted three ways till Wednesday
Two bad I lost count on my 25th hour
now this life gets sour, & those hearts get colder
...yet I still one....
So I'm stuck trying to be a hero....
but now....
I'm left....
with...
Cero....

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Heartbreak Diary

Its like crying invisible tears
Like no one can see how much it hurts
To just act like nothing ever happened
Its like I'm lost and can't be found
Because no one is searching
Because they don't know I'm missing
They see me but in the mirror, I see nothing
I feel ashamed and weak
Because I will take all the bad
Just to have one smile

Friday, June 7, 2013

Letter to a Childhood Soldier

Dear Soldier,

Your clay has been molding
from foreboding memories, 
your path is unfolding 
before the eyes of your enemies, 
beware the façade. 
Wear what you've taught.
Take all the shots.
Put on your Brave 
and don't be afraid 
to share what you've thought-
How's that gun fit?
Should be just right
because ever since it took the place 
of that gray teddy bear with the missing eye,
you've been holding it tight
and you can't deny that look on your face,
I know you're tired.
I know your feet hurt from marching
I know your heart hurts regarding love from the past,
but I implore you, 
love past that.
Take that mask that you found with your shield
and wield it with caution.
So strap on your boots and shoot until the war is over.
Remember that gray teddy bear with the missing eye
and value your life.
Childhood Soldier.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Mona Lisa

Mystery
Could it be that no one knows who you are
Including yourself
Self
Thats a hard word for you to spell
Because you cant tell me, you for that matter
What it means
Self is the reason that you write that spoken word
To a rhythm no one else heard
Pain is the reason why you want to save the world
You want to live vicariously through their happiness
Cause you gave up on finding your own
The Mona Lisa with no smile
Cause in the picture she was with child

Lost...

Having a gander at these lost moments I've found
Searching for the moment that I lost myself
The ever so clear got me down and out on the Everclear
But a change came
A light came on
The sun rose rather
& I arose in a forest
Stumbling over pebbles in the distance
Running this race......
&.........
My next life precedes me
So either way I'm losing
Lost with my hope
Memories so grand I went broke
But I cant say I didn't have it all
Taking vain of these worldly things
Knowing they'd be charged to the game
Ice Cold Knock to the head for this constant change
Which brings constant pain
Wanting constant gain
Losing my ill gained famed
Having thoughts so strange
I'm just lost in my brain.....

Save Me

I lost myself when I found you
So now what am I supposed to do,
With this heart?
It no longer beats
Cause my mistakes repeat
And " I always fall for your type"
That's why I'm typing this love letter
And trying to make you believe that it will get better
While my eyes get wetter
And your friends saying "forget her"
Just get that cheddar
And my girls saying you like rest
But I always protest
Because your not like them
Your worse

Unfree

I loved it
I would say you
But that wouldn't be true
I loved the thought of you
And when you were actually a reality you lost your flare
You were no longer a trend
Somethings look better inside of the store or street corner where I found
Love
Or that's what I thought
But I think too much
Say to little
Now I can't stand to look at you cause it reminds me
It reminds that I love the thought of you and I think too much.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Life Ways...

Living the life of an X
Wishing that I could be free
But I'm stuck in this labyrinth 
Over which these walls I can't see
So I place my plea 
Neither guilty nor sweet
But confined by these lines
Only trying to be
A Free Radical at heart
A poet by will
Bars to hit & kill 
But they proven that hope can fill 
So feel these words
Get moved by these verbs
I'm only yearning to be heard....

Eh....

I'm losing thoughts 
& time
Telling y'all hoes y'all "Summertime fine"
Fabrication 
The simple act at its finest
Versed freely 
So maybe this notebook should be line less 
Hoping this pain will wash away with Summer rain 
But on the Spring day 
We rested a soul to lay 
Your insurance won't cover this
So we came outta pocket
Not know that they were picking ours
Not knowing we were being picked on
They waiting on my work as of I was a Negrodamus
But any negro could have done this
I'm losing effort 
This scribing thing should be timeless
But I'm adding vanity and giving hope
When I began to cope
No
Know
....Know no pain
.....go show rain
......take these thoughts in vain
......realize the empath in me would hate to see you cry again
So I say 
Love is ephemeral yet evocative
Suggesting our hearts have their own furtive minds
But............................................I digress

Friday, May 10, 2013

The Entra....

Taking shots with thespians & middle age lesbians
Fakers no real than horned riding equestrians
But I’m trying to stay grounded like a pedestrian
I watch my mind force words in my notebook
I recite them as the middle as my soul cooks
Its hell, I tried to conceal the smell
But that golden rose so stink
So I’m trying to hide….my weakness…
So it’s either be blessed, or cursed
Cause either way you’re gonna meet your hearse
& be hurt, but we won’t feel pain
All we have is this game & this game keeps me same
So we when my plane flies
I hope my pain flies
But we steady sticking to hooping so check my hangtime
& hang low, words jumping & bumping
Just eating at my soul
We glow & we hang, we don’t bang, we might sing
But that’s only to maintain
So be hear or be here & be clear
I’ll scribe our story one day & we’ll release our…..
My Dear

Friday, April 26, 2013

Self

You'd much rather hear about what you want to be...than what it really is....being only meanwhile, your replacement, will never give you permanent fulfillment....you can chase an empty paper bag in the wind, but when you catch it, what will you fill it with?....the lonely nights grew old, your heart grew cold....so you began to look for a person to make you, you...but all you need....is self.....

R.I.P

By the end of days grace
We'll meet again
The sun has not set
Not completely atleast
I see the moon in the distance
But that doesn't mean it is ready to rise
So take your care of your plane
I'll watch your material possessions for you
Just promise me....
That you'll come for what you own
It is all that we have to tie us to you
But those ties shall never break
Fly High....

Pain

I ain't tryna seem cold
But my world ain’t been whole
That’s why I’m pulling out this bowl
& never wifing these hoes
She say I’m with a different broad every night
This wouldn’t be the case if she acted right
‘Cause she hurt, but I’m hurt too, so we ask each other, “Who hurt you?”
But we receive no answer
‘Cause it hurts even worst to say you hurt you
Pain from within
Meaning pain comes from self
Pain comes from wealth
Pain comes from knowing you can have everything but health
Pain is not eating
Pain is my weekend
Pain is seeing you in the club knowing we not speaking
Pain became love
Pain became us
Pain came from “we” breaking our trust
Pain is now me
Pain is now you
Pain is living this life knowing that we’re through
Pain is what we don’t have
& what we can’t grab
I’m still stuck tryna turn pain in happ(y)ness
But then I realize pain is only a thought
So pain led to my madness…